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Thirteen Things I Can Live Without in 2011 January 3, 2011

Posted by Rob Diaz in Biographical, Edited.
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At the beginning of a new year, we often think about the things we need or want more of in the coming year.  Today, I’d like to think about what I’d really like to do without this year.  This list, in no particular order (aside from the first one), should not be considered all-encompassing.  It is simply what came to mind when I started thinking about this.

  1. I can live without another deadly hurricane, flood, volcanic eruption, tornado, earthquake, tsunami, mine collapse, airplane crash, ship sinking, school shooting, hate-based crime or terrorist attack.  Oh, and I don’t need any more wars or sabre-rattling speeches or threats from leaders of any nation or negative election campaign advertisements from leaders or wannabe leaders of this nation, either.
  2. I can live without hearing anything more about Rex Ryan’s wife’s feet or how much he loves them.
  3. I can live without seeing another television advertisement for prescription drugs. I’d especially like no more drug commercials with catchy jingles, plumbing-less bathtubs in the desert (or on the beach), green-colored mafia-backed blobs that move into the lungs and invite their extended family, butterflies that make you sleep and then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go (with brushed hair and full makeup on), or legal disclaimers about the possibility of death as a side effect. I also don’t need to see advertisements for miraculous seasonal allergy medicines with a side effect of “head cold symptoms” because, like, why bother?
  4. I can live without another oil spill. Unless it’s a nice splash of extra virgin olive oil on a fresh, green salad. Perhaps with a little vinegar and garlic, too.
  5. I can live without hearing about how WikiLeaks is the worst thing that ever happened to the world, how it needs to be shut down, hidden and vilified as a terrorist website and how Julian Assange is a traitor to every nation on the planet and therefore deserves to be tortured, jailed and/or put to death for leaking confidential information.
  6. I can live without hearing about how WikiLeaks is the best thing that ever happened to the world, how it needs to be protected as a true, honest and important source of information everyone needs and how Julian Assange is an international hero who is being turned into a martyr who will eventually be tortured and either locked up or put to death in order to further the cause of leaking confidential information.
  7. I can live without hearing the politicians in Congress talking about how they’ve now come to Washington to “change how things are done around here” and “fix everything that’s not right.”  What the heck have you been doing for all the prior years you’ve been in Washington?  Seriously… every new Congress has said they’re going to change how things are done, but the only thing that ever changes is the portion of the country that’s angry at any given time.  So just shut up and get on with pissing off the 50% of the country who didn’t vote for you.
  8. I can live without hearing anything more about Bernie Madoff. Give a small amount of money to his wife and then let her get a job like the rest of us losers.  Then sell his homes, sell his cars, turn all of his assets over to the victims of his Ponzi scheme and let him rot in jail.  Maybe make him file his victims’ tax returns, by hand, as well.
  9. I can live without hearing another Justin Bieber song. Baby, oh baby, do I not want to hear another Justin Bieber song.  Throw David Archuleta into this category, too.
  10. I can live without hearing about health care reform or about the plan to repeal health care reform (is that called “health-care-reform reform”?).  And if the current plan is called “Obamacare”, will the new one be called “Whocares”?  Seriously, the subject is giving me a headache and I can’t afford to see a doctor about it. And, really, does it have to be this difficult?  As someone who is about to lose health coverage for himself and his family AND has a pre-existing condition, I want solutions, not rhetoric from a bunch of idiots who DO have coverage!
  11. I can live without hearing or seeing anyone being a Lady Gaga copy cat and wearing an outfit made of raw meat.  And this has nothing to do with me being a vegetarian – I don’t think I’d want to hang around with anyone wearing an outfit made out of raw onions, either.
  12. I can live without hearing someone use the statement “Global warming is not caused by humans” as a reason to justify their stance that there is no reason for us to find better, more efficient and cleaner ways to use  and generate energy. Even if climate change is not being caused or exacerbated by humans, there’s no reason we should be breathing dirty air, drinking polluted water or turning the planet into a giant, toxic strip mine.
  13. I can live without an iPad, an iPhone and a Wii. No, really.  I can.
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